uberfun p2

Note the time of this posting.

Then consider the following.

uberfun

Short post - I need to be getting to bed.

I had school today. Classes don't start until the 7th, but I was at school from 9:30-4 for some orientation leader training stuff (making sure we know what to say when/if/etc. and all that good stuff). After getting nailed in the forehead by a mini peanut butter jar, which actually drew blood, and coming up with a group "talent" to display tomorrow, I came home. I didn't forget to stop by McD's on the way to confirm my shift.

happy family

I feel weird for even going as far as writing this on here, but I'm just curious to know whether or not anyone could relate on any level to the following:

At times I wonder what it would be like to have both a husband and a wife, and if such a thing could ever be a possibility.

hundred mile

We arrived home from 100 mile house at around 3am (went for cous' wedding, and then detoured to see an aunt and uncle who had totalled their van in an accident outisde of kamloops - both are doing relatively fine for those wondering). Apart from driving in it, I love the BC landscape. If I could marry a province, this would be it. It's just so diverse - the dense forests and mountain lakes, the broad, grassy planes and windswept hills, the frozen glacial pathways further north, British Columbia is "the best place on earth."

The wedding was amazing. My cousin and his bride make the most adorable couple I know, and their love for eachother is immense and immediately noticeable. I felt blessed just being there. That feeling would turn into despair as the weekend went on and I realized that I would probably never be able to experience such an event in my life.

communication card

I had a startling feeling last night while attempting to fall asleep: The world as it was seemed nothing but a front to something much greater than I could fathom. the physical visualizations around me felt entirely intangible. It was quite a matrix moment, and I didn't totally understand it. It felt like a severe depression had at last won the battle in my mind and was beginning to affect my other senses. I was simply and completely alone in the decaying mirage surrounding me.

toothpaste

I've been wanting to make a nice, worthy post for the past couple of days now, but I simply haven't had anything that I felt was worth sharing with the world - or at least as much of it that visits this site. Even though I am now writing something, it's less because I found a product of my own self, and more a product of a few points of interest. Notting Hill was on tv; I enjoyed the last 3/4 of it along with my dad, after showering upon arriving home from work. I then put on a few happy bliss type songs (vanessa carlton - thousand miles is one such that comes to mind) and read aaron's latest post. So I'm now officially in a very content state of mind and would enjoy nothing other than to inform you all of this.

edutainment

I had a few long talks with the mom and then the dad a couple days ago about my university education. I don't like where it's going, and a big part of me wants to drop what I've learned and run off to study things so entirely unrelated. Who needs computer design and multimedia when there are subjects like sociology, philosophy, music, archeology, even mid eastern religious studies would be something more to my liking at this point. I want to understand where we came from culturally, to get a better idea as to who we are right now. The unfortunate part about it is I have already spent 2 years of my 4 year degree at this school, and it's not like I can just leave it for a while and return. My graduating class is the last class to have access to the program as SFU is restructuring everything (even trying to register for the fall semester was next to impossible; no where are we given a list of courses that still exist that we are to take)

meant to be

I've concluded that things are meant to be difficult: even easy things. If they're easy, you're not doing them right. Like living.... (and now we all see where I'm going with that.) I just finished watching Larry King's interview with Joni Eareckson Tada, and it made me mentally smack myself upside the head for being so selfish and self....loathing these past few days. It's difficult trying to deal with the whole gay issue, while trying to maintain a Jesus-like life at the same time.

In response to some of the comments on the previous post; yes I have tried asking for help, though not in these areas. I don't like feeling like I have to ask for appreciation from my parents. If they don't outright provide it, I feel it's not my place to ask for it.

impatiently waiting

I'm tired. I'm sure I've posted about my regular fatigue and slight depression, but if not here's a brief overview:

Every couple weeks I seem to trip into my other self. It is usually sparked by something job or family-related. This time it seems to be a mixture of the realization that my 2nd of 3 sisters has been married and I am the next child on the list, and of my mom snapping at me for not immediately understanding and doing everything she says. It seems I'm not allowed to ask for clarification on one of her commands. ie. "now get one of the nice chairs and put it back on the lawn." (would nice chair be one for the yard table set, or one of the new, comfortable lawn chairs? apparently i should know.)

yey technology.

Technology is oh so good when it works. Not like the other day when my monitor died. The good thing was that I finished printing all the programs for the wedding, and some brochures for church the night after the wedding. But sometime during the next day before jaunting off to another family event, my monitor decided to turn itself off. This would have been nice, had I been finished using the computer at the time. Insert a few more busy days with family and relatives and such, and I finally had time to browse around in the office in the basement for a monitor that works. First one, didn't work. Second one, was all screwy and crappy and took a lot of sweating to get working, but it seems to be holding up. The best thing about this (depending on which perspective you're looking from,) is that now it physically hurts my eyes to use the computer so there will be no more majority of days spent here in front of the screen. im grumpy and tired.

The cruddy thing about weddings, is that after it's all over the bride and groom get to go on a nice vacation while the rest of us who have been working on the wedding the entire time, get to work some more to clean it all up. oww... eyes...

mrs. married

I already miss her :(