October 13, 2004
highway music
I had a could-have-been-scary but good talk with my mom on the way to pick up sis from university, before heading off to a church worship practice. I'm sure I've mentioned it on here somewhere before, but she babysits a few children from around the neighbourhood. One of them is unique in that he has two moms and no dad. They were referred by a friend, and when my mom found their situation, she felt the best thing would be to look after their son and try to help them sort out their terribly troubled lives (not that they were, but simply that mom believed they must be).
<< revolutionaries | Main | autumn sun >> 10:14 PM by RobWe found out they were expecting twins this winter, and the mother of the existing boy and the twins felt she needed some much deserved time of rest before her world explodes with stress. That means that we are now looking after him for about 3 days a week, for 8 hours each. It's fun cause he likes me. What's also fun is the thought processes going through mom's brain. She has often expressed concern of what to do in the event that they ask her to be a witness to a marriage, as she does not agree with their lifestyle at all.
This is the background for the little discussion in the car.
It was interesting just to listen to what she was saying. Far from bashing their obviously sinful lives, she was asking questions. More directly, she was asking me questions. She's such - they're both such nice people, I don't understand? Usually they are always trying to change us, like they want us to become like them. Why is she different? Did something happen to her when she was young? Did she have a bad experience that made her like this?
The entire time I was sitting there trying desperately not to grin at the thought that whatever words came out of my mouth could change her entire perception of this "disease". However I didn't say much. When she said, "I want to just ask her what she thinks about it, but I can't do that." I said, "why not? Ask her. See what she says." She then said some things hinting at the gay agenda, and I replied by saying "Maybe they're (they being those gays) just acting like that towards us (yes, I said us, and I want to take it back and say 'you') because we act the same way towards them? We're always trying to change them so they're like us, but when they try to be themselves we don't accept it."
I so wanted to bring myself in as an example for one of her questions, but driving down a busy street would not have been the appropriate time for that revelation to take place, I can tell you that much.
Then it was over. I wanted to go back. I wanted her to ask more, and get into some greater understanding - even if insignificant to her. The seed is planted, but I have a hard opportunity getting water and sunlight to it. It's sorta funny. I don't even want to go and say "i'm gay" I simply want an open dialogue to discuss the possibility of such a thing. It's closer now... I can feel it.
In the end, I find it terribly interesting that she really seems to believe it's a choice that has a cause and can be resolved.
LMAO :-D
Gotta love those dodgy conversations like that.. I went for thanksgiving dinner with my boyfriend (yes, BOYFRIEND! I'm a filthy sinning homosexual - go tell your mother!) and his family. His brother's not so cool with the whole gay thing. This kinda bothers him, and whilst it doesn't cause me major grief, I can see how it would piss you off.
Last night, the brother's round at the parental dwelling and my boyfriend pulls him on it. He says he was a bit disappointed with the way he acted at the family dinner thing, thought it was a bit rude and ignorant, wanted to know how much of a problem he had with the whole thing and if it was likely to always be a problem. Wow. Stunning conversation! Yet one that almost definitely needed to happen. And funny, cos the brother is older.. so it's like him realising that his younger brother isn't just a pricky kid brother, but also a real person with real shit, life issues, the whole shebang.
Nuff said, I've hijacked your blog with my comment.. but those "interesting" conversations are always "interesting" and sometimes even "fun".. One life - live it.
Posted by: Paul at October 14, 2004 11:16 AMThe only guidance I can give you is this..it only takes one label to destroy a relationship.
I am Gay and my partner Peter and I will be married in November. "The dicey" discussion is great. At least your family talks about it. At least there is Communication about the topic. My family would rather see me dead !
Respect comes when you can look at someone and say good things about them.
WHAT we are is NOT as important as WHO we are in this world.And what we do in this world to make it a better place.
I also attend church and I serve at mass, and the Pastor of my Church and I had "the discussion" on Friday last week, and he has no problem with my being Gay and going to church. If He does not judge me then I know that God won't judge me either.
I don't beleive that I am abomination in Gods eyes, BECAUSE (HE) has not told me so either. The only place/people i've heard that from are the Christians who believe they are better than me. Including my parents.
My Pastor says that no one can say for certainty WHAT God thinks of "us."
Faith is available to all of us. You cannot take that from Anyone. If I love God and I try to live my best life every day, then WHOM shall I fear, but God alone.
The absence of God is the void where we find sin and wrong living. I for one live in my faith, it is part of me, and my life and OUR relationship.
What we believe in God is for us,
(each one of us individually). It is not up to anyone else to judge whether or not we are living "right" lives in the eyes of God. Because let's ask your mom, Does She live the right life by judging others? Has God spoken to her directly?
I don't know of one human being who has had a direct conversation with God, who can say with Certainty what GOD thinks.
If you are a literal BIBLE reader, then you take it word for word. I live a faithlife that is IN God. You see the Books of the bible were written TO a CERTAIN group of people dealing with certain problems at a certain time. You should not take literal translations
( Transcribed by man ) and assume that they apply to everyone now.
The church was created by MAN, FAITH was created by God. So WHAT do you believe?
Maybe your mom should sit down and talk to them and see what THEY have IN COMMON, not what delineates a difference between them. Maybe coming to terms with "Others" might help her come to terms with you and your choices later on in your life.
It doesn't take alot of energy to ask a question. It all begins with a question. So tell her to ASK her questions???
It takes alot of energy to hate,question, and judge "what is right and wrong with someone else." Why can't we all just get along??
Canadians are suppose to be so far ahead of all those other places that DO NOT accept gays as equals. Well in SOME provinces to date they do.
I Strongly DISLIKE Christians who preach Gods word and love, yet they judge everyone else, those who are NOT like THEM.
I suggest to you that you keep the dialogue going and see if you can't educate your mom and your family. That will help you in the long run. Mark my words. God is Love, Hate and judgement are NOT !!!
There is nothing like a Loving God to guide our Right Actions and lives. I do believe that WE were created by God, no matter WHO we are today. I do believe that God shakes his head at every "Christian" who takes a literal translation of the Bible to make them better than us, in Gods eyes.
The CHURCH MUST change or crumble under its own IGNORANCE. Man made structues will cruble to the ground one day, but what God creates in each of us will stay until WE decide that (IT) is needed no longer.
Now, you've got me started because I am a Gay Man Majoring in Religion at Concordia, and the Gay agenda is THIS, why can't you just accept us as humans and people instead of gays and lesbians?
As soon as the world comes to the agreement that "we" mean no harm, and just want to be EQUAL and HAPPY, then the hot topic will end.
I mean really, does our sexuality change anything when we are in the shopping mall? NOPE. I mean do we have sex in public?NOPE. Do we force the GAY AGENDA everywhere? NO.
Everyone else is making a big deal out of the Gay Agenda. WHY cause THEY labeled it the Gay Agenda...
Do we force others to BE like US? NO.
There are militant Gays in the world who want to force homosexuality on every living being, I am not one of them. I just want to be free to live my life and love who I want and be afforded the same rights as any other couple does in the world, is that too much to ask for?
Well, in some places it is.
The reason the Gay Agenda is so BIG on the HOT TOPIC meter is because all of the straight world is making issues of it.
The only difference in "US" from them is this, "We Love WHO we want to love, not who society dictates we should love, because that what God says..."
Do you think God can change? Do you think HE would ask us to change? To be Better people and love everyone equally and unconditionally. Although in the Christian circles that is a long time coming. Because "We" go against everything that is Holy..
But I ask you, what do you think is Holy? Love is sacred and I abhore men and women who think that "I as a Gay man" cannot love sacredly. It's not the sexual issue that is at hand, who cares what goes on in the bedroom, IT MATTERS who we are in the World. Who we love, and how WELL we love them. We have children, we give them homes and love them as well.
HOW many straight couples have destroyed the sanctity of Marriage and how many children were brought into the world by God fearing men and women and so many of those children are in Orphanages or on the street. How many have been abused or killed?
I have seen thousands of Gay boys and girls THROWN out on the street by God Fearing people, because Parents did not and could NOT accept a gay son or daughter. When I was diagnised HIV positive, my parents walked away, telling me that I was Not part of the family because GOD hates Fags !!!
That is SINFUL and WRONG.
The world needs to change or else hate, misery and death is all we have to look forward to.
We should be loving and respectful to ALL his creations?
My young friend your whole life is ahead of you, so love RIGHTLY and do GOOD things. Trust only those you must, and remember, God watches us. If you judge, then ye shall be judged as well. If you love from your heart then there will be no prejudice towards others. If you love from your brain, you will never love Rightly. Do the right thing.
I pray you Gods Wisdom and Love.
Jeremy
Posted by: jeremy at October 14, 2004 01:13 PMThe most important conversations with my mom have happened in two places: The car, and in restaurants.
Sounds like your mom is getting ready for THE TALK. Exciting, but nerve-wracking. We've all been there. Or many of us have, anyway.
Posted by: Aaron at October 14, 2004 03:06 PMRob,
I have something for you to read. Take a few minutes, sit down and read this, it may change your life. GOD Exists.
link here
Peace,
Jeremy
way to lecture. heeh ive boardered on 'the talk' several times. i just pass it on. its easier. i figure mother will be better suited when shes older...or ive moved out. i like the second option. also having the other siblings knowing im gay and being cool with that rocks. its GREAT! but not really. you owe me free time for victoria!
Posted by: rod at October 15, 2004 11:40 AM