god so loved

I don't know whether it was a dream or simply a period of imagining, but a few days ago I suddenly felt like what I'm going through is a stage that many other people experience. It seemed like the understanding of sexuality, the world, and spirituality is required to come to a crossroads in order for the individual to gain some sort of unfathomable knowledge of life... Like (speaking for males) my father, my uncles, their fathers, etc. have all experienced times of sexual confusion and same sex attraction, but mostly found that it was not their true nature to pursue any options that would correspond to being gay. Like it was a great examination where there is only one right answer, and that answer is God, and for them, that meant personal attractions did not matter... God and His plan were the only concepts of worth, and His plan, when investigated and fully understood, was man plus woman equals family equals the meaning of life.

sustainability

So I’ve been absent from the blog for a good number of days (as if you didn’t notice). Exams are almost finished, and the bulk of pre-Christmas obligations have passed. There were a number of thoughts that came to me during this time, but either I didn’t have time to write them down, or I didn’t have the energy to get more than a few sentences. I guess I’m generally feeling somewhat.. blah.

Enough of that, I’ll just write.

silent solitude

It snowed a few days ago, and we received another cm or so today.. with the possibility of a few more over the next few days before rain comes. The first night I enjoyed it. I was filled, as one often is during the first snowfall of the season, with wonder and excitement like a younger me may have felt years ago. As the days passed, the snow became another hazard which disrupted the usual flow of things. Tonight, looking out the window at the newly dusted trees in the backyard, I realized how much I've grown up inside... I didn't yearn to pull on my snow suit and run and play in the frozen fun.