power out

I miss work. I miss riding the bus through the early morning sunshine, hiking up the hill to the office, to be met by a warm gust of wind in the face and a beautiful view of the surrounding city, before walking in the door, greeting the security guards, and feeling content and happy when I said good morning to my friends and coworkers. Even though the last few months I spent much of the work day listening to music, I was still around great people, and could through out a joke now and then to liven our spirits. It was so nice.

opportunity

This is interesting. Over the past few days I’ve begun to see my perspective shift. I don’t see it as a bad shift; it’s more likely something that will help put my mind to ease. You see, in my mind, a heterosexual relationship was the only human relationship that seemed to have any depth to it. Whenever I thought about me with a woman, verses me with a man, the imagined life with a woman appeared appeared absolutely limitless... like there would be such a level of.. tangible fullness. I don’t know if it was in part because of the potential for natural child bearing, or a mixture of everything all piled together. The thing is.. now I don’t see much of a difference.

incubation

So this girl, let us call her Mary, lives quite a few hundred miles away. She calls Denver, CO her home. That fact alone should make any sort of possible future together a little bit tricky, even if it is just a friendship. However I'm pretty sure nothing will come of it anyway... she was more of a reminder than a possibility... reminding me that maybe there is still a female someone out there.

My mom is helping/planning a new valentines dinner that the church wants to hold this year. She's already figured out that I will be going, and I will ask one of younger sis' friends to accompany me. I've never met the girl, but from what I've heard and seen, she seems like a nice young lady. I'm no good at things like that though... asking someone to dinner, even if it is a group affair. 'Cause you know, me not having any experience with such a thing, especially with the opposite sex, and then feeling like a deceitful person by the chance that I could come across as something I'm not.

homeward bound

We’re finally home. Well, we’ve been home for a little over 24 hours, but I was too tired/busy last night and this morning to write anything. Even now my mind is still working away at I don’t know what, making any sort of creative thinking somewhat difficult. All that means is I need to write to get back into my routine otherwise I’ll take an extended break like last year at this time.

The trip was wonderful. We drove down to Seattle where we stayed for the first night. The next day we drove through to Idaho, and stayed there for the night. The next night we stayed in a small town in Montana, after discovering that Canada was "closed" by the time we got to the border.. despite some perceived helpful advice from a little old lady in Idaho.