king george

It has come to my attention that a few drivers in this area of the world may not know how to properly operate a motor vehicle. And so, I present to you a few helpful tips and suggestions to help you get where you're going without me intentionally smashing into you with no problems.

Firstly, before we even get into our vehicle and out on the road, we want to notice the 3 tools circled in the image to the right. These are called mirrors. They help you see me and my car, and they're especially useful when you want to make a turn, change lanes, or realize there are other cars on the road besides yours.

Secondly, we have the turn signals. Although the lights are located on the front and rear corners of the vehicle, there is a switch near the steering wheel that allows you to toggle them on and off. Technology these days! These turn signals let me know in advance when you are planning to make a left, or right turn at an intersection rather than driving forward, and they also let me know when to slam on the breaks before you spontaneously merge into me. These signals are a great feature, and they're now standard in every vehicle!

Now that you're in the car and on the road, there are a few more things to watch out for. For instance, me. I'm also driving on the road, in my own car, and it is preferred, especially when driving at night, that I not be blinded by your headlights. However, it is also good to see your headlights over the rear seat in my car, so driving more than 2.5ft behind me is often recommended.

Moving on to intersections. These are the busiest spots along a street. An intersection, or cross road, is where two streets intersect, or cross each other. Sometimes there is a sign that says stop, and it's not just to increase your vocabulary, it also intends for you to stop just before that sign. What this does, is provide you a moment to rest and remind yourself that you are in control of your motor vehicle, and not your girlfriend in your sms message. Now comes the difficult part. When you want to turn left at an intersection, you will need to remember everything that I've mentioned above! And more! Once you're in the intersection, it is usually easier, and quicker, to turn into the first lane, rather than the farther lane that may have other cars in it. What this does is allow you to complete your turn free of incident, while allowing me the ability to continue driving without questioning your intentions and swerving to avoid you.

Following these few easy steps will help you arrive at your imminent pregnancy / burning house / parent's death bed on time, and I will make it to school alive and without injury to my car, person, or sanity.

Thank you.
(illustrations from icbc.com)